HEART ATTACK..Doo doo do do do doo

I am having a heart attack. There is a pain that starts in my shoulder and runs through my left arm and into my chest. I am sure it is totally a pinched nerve — not a heart attack. I mean I couldn’t be having a heart attack, right? I am 31 years old for God’s sake. The pain is also at its worst when I move my neck. Yep. It is totally a nerve thing. Although, I have a headache and nausea. But bodies are weird. All this shit is connected. I will take some ibuprofen. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Hmmmm. Those gel caps be kicking in by now — it has been 15 minutes. If it is a heart attack, I should take aspirin. I have seen those Bayer commercials. If this is a heart attack, which I am sure it is not, I wonder what the effects of taking ibuprofen are during a heart attack.

Google ” took ibuprofen while having a heart attack.” Shit. Taking ibuprophen can raise the risk of having a heart attack. But Toni. You are not having a heart attack.

Text Katie. She is a doctor.

Toni: How do I know if I am having a heart attack? Or do you think it is just a pinched nerve?

Katie: Heart attack is crushing/squeezing pain in the left chest/jaw/arm. And you’re too young. Nerve is shoot or stabbing or burning. Muscle pain is on movement. Which you got?

Toni: No crushing.

Toni: My dad had a massive heart attack at 32!

Katie: Right. Why do you have chest pain?

This is going nowhere. Toni Anita Hull. You know you are not having a heart attack.

But what if I am? What if this is a rare case? I am going to Google “heart attack symptoms”.

"Pressure, tightness, pain, or a squeezing or aching sensation in your chest or arms that may spread to your neck, jaw or back." Check.

"A feeling of fullness, nausea, indigestion, heartburn or abdominal pain." Check.

"Fatigue." Check. Shit. This is getting serious. Maybe I should go to the ER.

"Shortness of breath." That one I don’t have. Or do I? Is it getting hot in here? I feel like I can’t breathe….

"Racing pulse." Okay. I can check that.

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65bpm. That’s not racing….but maybe my heart is stopping? Shit. I should tell my co-worker that I am having a heart attack. I may need an ambulance and oxygen right away. This is it. Move over Mom and Dad — this is the big one!!!!

You aren’t having a heart attack. Maybe I should Google “can a pinched nerve feel like heart attack.”

"Heart Attacks in Young Women Can Be Harder to Detect, Deadlier" ABC news reports.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Okay. I am going to get up and stretch. This way if it is a muscle/nerve thingy that may help.

Or of it is a heart attack, maybe the blood flow will propel the clot out. What if it propel the clot into my brain?

One thing at a time Hull. One thing at a time. Put your arms above your head Hull. Arms above your head.

POP!

What the what? Oh my God! What was that pop?!?! An artery probably popped off my heart or something!!! I am going to go down at any second!!!

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Oh weird. I’m fine. It doesn’t seem to hurt anymore.

Like I said, you are not having a heart attack Toni.