Mad Men Peanut Gallery #1
Hey hey it’s the seventh season,
And the haters be charged with treason.
So now let’s everybody clap,
It’s the weekly Mad Men recap!
Every week I will recap and make peanut gallery commentary on the latest episodes of my favorite show…. If I was live-tweeting - instead of drinking - this is prolly what would happen.
“Time Zones” premiered last night on AMC. The episode marked the beginning of the end for my dearly-soon-to-be-departed Mad Men. My life as I know it is ending. Let’s begin.
January 1969. OMG. FREDDY IS BACK!!!! I love Freddy for the man he wants to be and for the man that he almost is! What a stellar pitch! Freddy…did you think of that all on your own….?
Roger, you are truly a silver-haired, commune-living fox. Next time… I need to see your buns.
Wait. Are Dawn and Ginsberg an item?
I miss tap–dancing Ken. Where is Bob Benson? I need him to speak Spanish to me.
The new "Don" is a mean, douche-y Mister Rogers.
Don looks refreshed and ready to bone. Did Megan wear a nighty to the airport? Oh yeah….they’re not happy. Move over Don..Megan’s drivin’!
Pegs. Get over Ted.
The actor playing Alan auditioned for American Hustle. He did not have enough hair.
Wasn’t that guy in “Easy A”?
Oh snap. Joan can handle this pre-teen.
OH MY GOD. MEGAN LIVES NEXT TO SHARON TATE. IT IS HAPPENING. HELTER SKELTER.
“I’m too drunk.” Classic excuse Megs D. She is boning someone else.
Pegs. Get over Ted.
Erryone in Los Angeles IS tan. C’mon Weiner. Get it right.
PETE CAMPBELL IS MY NEW FAVORITE. HUGGGSSSSSSS! HAIRLINE!
Uh oh. Draper is still out. Oh my God I want that sandwich.
Bonnie Whiteside is a real estate agent when she isn’t making porn.
Oh snap. Joan just schooled that professor.
You can take the actress out of a housewife, but you can’t take the housewife out of the actress. Oh yeah…they’re not happy.
No sex in the champagne room Don. Megs is boning someone else. Nothing says sexy like clean teeth. Ooops. I stand corrected.
Work? Don, you aren’t working…or are you?
Roger. Take those clothes off!
NEVE CAMPBELL. Is this leading into a threesome with Neve Campbell, Don Draper, and Denise Richards?
WHAT WORK DON?
Oh snap. Earring is comin’ off. Joan takes care of business.
Pegs. Stan. Get it together. Bone please.
WHERE IS HARRY CRANE?
Cue: Don and Freddy in top hats and canes singing “Wherever you go, whatever you do…we’re gong go through it together.”
There, there Peggy.
There, there Don.
Final Thoughts: People be stuck….like Don’s balcony door.