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  • Toni Anita Hull

Challenge #2...iMac on Me


39. Attend a free Mac instructional class at any of the local Apple Computer chain locations and find other tech savvy attractive partners: i-Like!

Remember when people used the term "mack" to mean like making out? However, it was always kind of predatorial like " Matt was macking on Christina." Like ew.

Well I hauled my cookies to the Apple store looking for love. There is plenty of room left on this hard drive, so let's try to fill it! Oh snap!

Sooo I didn'y exactly attend a free seminar, but I did go to the Mac store, with a Genius Bar appointment, a boken iPad, and a condom in my wallet. I checked in and was seated at a table with women who all had various problems with their various Apple products. I quickly siezed up the competition:

Sharon: Clearly a GILF (Grandma I'd Like to Fuck). Lost some photos of her grandkids in the cloud.

Espy: A mother who was there because her daughters (baggage) phone went kaput. I saw no ring ont hat finger, but she was there with her mom.

Marla: iPhone kept crapping out on here. She was really worried about using all of her grad school lectures. She mentioned her "husband" seveal times.

Now that I knew that I didn't really have competition, I had to wait it out to see who our Genius would be.

It was Dale.

Dale was a pale, thin dude, with glasses. He was exactly what your Genius should look like. Dale went though all of our problems and then worked his magic. Dale was gentle. Dale had nice eyes. Dale would let me bone him. Dale was it. Dale was the one. Dale was the reason my iPad was angry.

Dale swiftly handled each of our problems. Sharon the GILF said that he was her savior. Espy threw her arms around him. Marla started crying as she held her husband's hand and looked at Dale and said "We are naming our first born after you." Dale left me for last. I was offended because I wsa first in line. Then I realized that Dale just needed me for himself. This was my moment.

Dale reached across me as he swiftly made keystrokes along the smooth surface of my iPad. My heart was racing. Did he feel what we had?

"Go ahead and type in your security code" he said gently.

Magic. My iPad was restored. It had new life...except he had taken a random photo from my Photo Stream and set it as my background.

There I was. Drunk. With a mustache drawn on. Behind a dog. Pretending to jack him off.

"Okay Toni. I think you're set" Dale said as he slowly backed away.

It seems the Apple Store had potential. On a scale of 1-10, 1 being "I WOULD HAVE BETTER LUCK FINDING A DUDE AT A LESBAIN BAR" to 10 being "I FOUND MY HUSBAND HERE", I would give the Apple Store a 5.


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